Illuminations

Lizz Rosene

In Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times author Katherine May reflects on light at an annual Sankta Lucia service.  The priest explains one version of the Saint Lucia story to the children of the church, but instead of dwelling on the gritty details: “...he wants us to think about the simple gestures by which we can bring light into the world.  ‘Every one of us is a lit candle;’ he says.” (96).

We stay in our pajamas for days at a time

We stay home for weeks at a time

We build forts in the basement

Only to topple them over and do it all again

Create long, looping train tracks on carpeted floors

Conductor driving from the center circle

Lay side by side on the couch, linked hands turning pages of Owl Moon

“Whooo” quietly like the owl with big yellow eyes

Watch cheese melt and bubble between sandwich slices on the stove

Slurp tomato soup from steaming bowls

Press our faces to the front windows steaming the glass

Every surface covered in smudge marks of observation

Bundle up in jackets and boots to collect rocks along Sand Creek

An old egg carton our treasure box of earthy tones

Stop in our tracks to watch and listen 

Geese honking in a perfect v-formation

“Where going?” you ask

Dance wildly beneath Christmas tree lights

Left up too long as we cling to the excitement of Christmas

Remember how you wanted to see the chimney?

Remember how you asked where Santa parked his reindeer?

Nap midday, closing shades against a bright blue sky

Wake up cocooned in darkness of the early afternoon

All while the world falls apart

ICE Agents descend on mothers and fathers

Grocery shopping, picking up their children from school

Violently removing foreign leaders from power

Removing ourselves from alliances and pacts of peace

People take to the streets in protest

Form community watch groups, wear whistles

Donate food to shelters for distribution

For those stuck inside their homes

ICE menacing and waiting outside their front door

How can I hold these days in my home

While others are holed up, in hiding?

How can I sit with your joy, our quiet life

While the world is building to a cacophony?

I want you to know 

You are a lit candle

I want to show you how to be one

I want to show you how to show up for neighbors

How to use your voice when others can’t 

I want our family to shine a light

Bear witness, bear the burden

I want you to hold all of this

But you are (almost) three, and I am five months pregnant

So for now I am writing it down

A manifesto for the days to come 

Lighthouse

Lizz Rosene, 2.1.26

there is so much uncertainty

there is so much out of our control

there are so many reflections of a horrifying past

in the tenuous and uncharted present

in the midst of all this

my son and i rise to a moon high in a dark sky

a full, glowing orb

as if under a magnifying glass 

the shadows of rocky craters appear

a bright glowing beacon, a lighthouse calling

here is the shore, over here

watch as I sink beneath the clouds 

mountain peaks shrouded in foggy mystery

watch as the sky transforms

soft blue black of early morning

pink, peach, and lavender of dawn

a synchronous dance with the sun

first light reflecting off the east facing windows 

watch as the sky settles into a brilliant blue 

announcing another day has arrived

i can’t promise my son that everything will be okay

that our country will get through this

that people will be treated with the dignity and respect they deserve

but we can sit in the stillness of the sunrise

delighted by the colors, the transformation

watch the robin observing it all from the cottonwood tree

watch what is happening in the world

pay attention to the plight of others

observe it all

find ways to be the beacon

help others return safely to shore

Lighthouse

Lizz Rosene, 2.15.26

there is so much uncertainty

there is so much out of our control

there are so many reflections of a horrifying past

in the tenuous and uncharted present

in the midst of all this

my son and i rise to a moon high in a dark sky

a full, glowing orb

as if under a magnifying glass 

the shadows of rocky craters appear

a bright glowing beacon, a lighthouse calling

here is the shore, over here

watch as I sink beneath the clouds 

mountain peaks shrouded in foggy mystery

watch as the sky transforms

soft blue black of early morning

pink, peach, and lavender of dawn

a synchronous dance with the sun

first light reflecting off the east facing windows 

watch as the sky settles into a brilliant blue 

announcing another day has arrived

i can’t promise my son that everything will be okay

that our country will get through this

that people will be treated with the dignity and respect they deserve

but we can sit in the stillness of the sunrise

delighted by the colors, the transformation

watch the robin observing it all from the cottonwood tree

watch what is happening in the world

pay attention to the plight of others

observe it all

find ways to be the beacon

help others return safely to shore